pugsnotborissjohnsen:

crying is the biggest bullshit ever its like “oh you’re feeling sad and vulnerable, lets make liquid come flying out of your face and make it really loud too so everyone around you will sense your weakness” who the fuck authorized this. its terrible planning, id like to file a complaint

(Source: queerbaitingforgodot, via hollaperfs)

180393 notes

I really hate when I put food in the microwave and it starts popping and making explosive noises so I check it and it’s freezing cold like why you gotta play me like that

(via fake-mermaid)

360999 notes
649,675 notes

stand-up-comic-gifs:

He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)

(via hollaperfs)

zackisontumblr:

what do you mean you can’t hang out i showered for this 

(via fake-mermaid)

750071 notes

unbrokenable:

The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.

(via brokenly)

90553 notes
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